Dear Neighbor,
The reason I have waved at you for 4 years is because I am from the Midwest.
You see, in my culture in the Midwest, we wave at our neighbors whenever we see them. It is considered polite and right.
When we wave at our neighbors, it does not mean we have to be best friends. It does not mean "come over for a barbecue tonight".
Here is what it means:
hello
how are you?
if you need a cup of sugar, do come ask
need to borrow a tool, ok, just be sure you return it
how is your mom? heard she was in the hospital
when we get snowed in, my husband will plow us all out
if the electricity goes out, we will call the power company for ALL of us
if your mom passes on, I will bring a casserole
if your child is sick, I will pray for you
if you need ANYTHING, I will try to help
You see neighbor, we don't have to be inseparable, but I do care about you, because you are a person and I respect persons. That is how it is in the Midwest.
But for now, I am going to stop waving. It is going to be very hard to keep my hand down. I may feel quite rude to not wave at you.
But clearly, after 4 years, I get the message that you are uncomfortable waving. I will try to respect that.
Love,
Your neighbor
who has an extra cup of sugar in case you should need it.
10 comments:
Why anyone would be uncomfortable with waving I will never know.It is a simple gesture that can mean a lot. I love how you defined what waving is all about! Maybe stick with a friendly smile and/or head nod for your restistant neighbor...?
oh, that is exactly what being a 'good' neighbor is! Love that!! I don't know.. but I do think he will notice that you have stopped waving. Maybe he is going blind? okay, maybe not. Does he drive?
*smiling* the guy is not going blind. ;) he is a nice-looking seemingly successful fellow. yes, he drives a lovely SUV. not waving seems to be a common thing on this road. you just have to come see, K.!!
I love this post!! It is so true - everyone waves up here - it doesn't matter who you are or if you really know the person. Kate, you summed it up perfectly. It's your neighbors loss to not wave back and lose out on getting to know a great family.
Where I lived in my little town there, most people who drove by on my dirt road would give "the finger" -they would simply raise their pointer finger while their hands were still on the steering wheel. I practiced this was I drove as it actually feels quite unnatural - try it out! Give him the finger and see if he understands your greeting - but practice is essential! It is awkward to us wavers! Requires muscles we have never really used! Love, Julie (who is waving at her laptop to you!)
I burst out laughing at Julie's comment. That's how my Dad waves in my little hometown. When we were teenagers and would pass him on the road, I would wave wildly and he would raise just his index finger in response. Kate, I love your definition of neighbor. He is the one missing out on opportunities all around him. Sad.
I will try the "finger", Jules, LOL. I promise to practice, but ya, how different. I like to wave with enthusiasm. hee hee. Clay says he is a very nice man, but his non-waving makes me suspicious. ;)
Kath, I will never forget when I first came to Indiana, I was in a car with you and someone waved at us. I was like "do you know them"? You said no, everyone here just waves. Being from NY state it just seemed strange. I had lived in two other states as well. Now since living in Indiana for several years, how strange it feels not to wave to people. It really is a midwest thing and I love it. Makes ya smile : )
Amee- that is funny. I remember that. :) How thankful we are that you are a Hoosier, waving at all the passersby. Thanks for sharing your perspective. It helps.
Yah, but a neighbor should wave regardless, I don't care what state you are from. He is NOT off the hook....Makes ya angry inside I bet.
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