In Public Places

It always causes a lump in my throat, a little fear, and then turns into a blessing.

It has happened so many times that I see the pattern of behavior as soon as it starts.

It's always when my girl and I are in a public place, like Wal-Mart. Last night it was Target.

I will see a middle-aged man staring at her. He is always older than me (43), but younger than my dad (70). He will stare with a somber look on his face. I start to feel defensive.

I make a point to make eye contact. Perhaps I am not looking very kind, because I don't like to be stared at, and I don't know if a racist remark is about to happen.

AND THEN, he will burst into a grin from ear to ear. He will approach me and tell me how she brings back sooo many memories for him. Then he talks about Viet Nam. He might point out his veteran hat, or show me his big gold ring that says Viet Nam, as if he needs to prove to me that he is a veteran. I need no proof, as when he speaks, his internal burden spilling out is proof enough.

EVERY time I get teary-eyed. Every time I say I hope she doesn't bring back bad memories. And I have heard this response more than once, "The government abandoned us. Some US citizens abandoned us. We had to stay focused on the task at hand, so we focused on the children. We knew we were fighting for them, for their future. THEY were what kept us going." My daughter represents all that for them. It is quite amazing really.

So there you have it. One of the MANY unexpected blessings of adopting our girl from China. I get to talk to Viet Nam veterans who start out as anonymous shoppers like me. I get to say thank you. Thank you for fighting for the future of the children. No matter your view on Viet Nam, when you look at it from the view of a soldier who tried to find meaning in the chaos, THAT was a noble cause, because it is always noble to fight for children.